My ramblings…

Well folks… christmas eve.. what can I say. Aside from the christmas dinner mother made for us, nothing special really happened. Or so it seemed. When my dad gave out the presents, I had my hands all oily from dinner, so dad helped me open it up. It was a metal chain from harley and my mum was standing on the other side of the living room telling me that the both of them didn’t know what I wanted for christmas, so they got me that. Personally, I didn’t quite like the chain at all. When I was done checking it out, both my parents were just done giving out the presents to my other brothers and girlfriends.

I raised my head to have a look at my parents… you know, give them a smile to let them know that you appreciate the gesture…. I saw the two of them standing there… and they were smiling at all of us… I lokked them right in the face. That’s when it dawned on me. The both of them seemed so old..

Time really flies.. and God forbid there was a time when I really hated both my parents. I’m using the word HATE. But, the things they did for me.. the times I put them through.. and for them to still come out smiling and doing this…. I really am ashamed at myself. I really am.

So to say nothing special really happened today.. well that’s not right. Everything was special today. From the breakfast to the dinner… the presents.. and most importantly for having such unbelievable faith in your son over all this time.

Everyday for the past 22 years was christmas. I just didn’t know it.

I haven’t really given you the definite answer you crave… I know. In time I will, but I can’t give you one now. I can’t say I love you because that will be a lie. Like would be a better word, but it sounds superficial. It really can’t be described in a single word…

When we were talking the other night, I looked you right in the eyes and I felt that I was looking back at myself. That would be how I would put it.

You know who you are.